Today, a rare glimpse inside the mind of DUN, DUN, DUN…A tomato hater.
For the record: please state your name, relation to the interviewer, and how long you have hated tomatoes.
My name is Michael, I am husband to the author of the website sarcasticcooking.com, and I’ve hated tomatoes in most contexts as long as I can remember.
What is it about a tomato that you dislike?
I would have to say their “tomatoeyness.” Some tomatoes, like cherry tomatoes, are extremely tomatoey, and nearly intolerably so.
What do you mean by “too tomatoey”?
Do you know the flavor of the juice inside a tomato? If you take a whole tomato of any kind and bite into it, the texture and flavor of the seeds and juice inside the tomato, after the skin is broken, is the flavor I describe as tomatoey. It’s terrible.
Not only that flavor, but the juice inside of a tomato, that slimy and gooey texture, makes me squirm.
Are there any kinds of tomatoes you do like?
I can handle a sliced tomato, because those tend to have most of their “tomatoeyness” removed in the process. Actually, a sliced tomato can be a really refreshing topping on a sandwich, provided it isn’t too tomatoey. I also love salsas and pico de gallo, so I don’t mind tomatoes in small amounts. But, when they’re whole and in their natural form, juices and all, I can’t handle.
I also get chills anytime I look at a bloody mary. I guess that’s usually a love it or hate it kind of thing, but I am clearly on the “hate it” side of the tomato juice debate.
Why do you think your wife keeps trying to force you to eat tomatoes and tomato products?
She’s very determined and she loves a challenge. I mean, she could make me buffalo wings and pepperoni pizza every day the rest of my life and keep me happy, but where is the challenge in that? It’s like playing John Madden football on “rookie.” You can run the same play 30 times in a row and win 70-0. I’m that easy when it comes to food but not necessarily very fun to cook for [play against].
Moreso, though, she has an unhealthy obsession with tomatoes, and loves to watch me squirm before a meal.
Does the thought of eating a pizza with only tomatoes on it scare you?
Scared, confused, angry (why can’t we just have Lou’s?), I’m not sure I know exactly how I feel, but it does look beautiful, and I will give it a shot because she won’t let me eat any of our prosciutto otherwise.
Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Pizza Dough
2lb of Mini Heirloom Tomatoes
1 Clove of Garlic, grated
½ Teaspoon of Salt
¼ Teaspoon of Pepper
1 Tablespoon of olive Oil
1 Teaspoon of Balsamic Vinegar
Flour for the Rolling Surface
1 Tablespoon of Corn Meal
Let the pizza dough sit at room temperature for twenty minutes before you try to roll it out.
In the meantime, slice all of the mini heirloom tomatoes in half. Add them to a bowl with the garlic, salt, pepper, olive oil, and balsamic vinegar. Mix and let marinate while the pizza dough comes up to room temperature.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Sprinkle flour on top of your work area. Roll the dough into a ball and place it in the center of the floured work area. Roll the dough out until it is about 12” or more.
Sprinkle the pizza stone or pizza pan with the corm meal and a light drizzle of olive oil. Place the pizza dough on the pan. Pinch and curl the edges of the pizza up to make a crust.
Place the heirloom tomatoes on the pizza, alternating cut-side up and cut-side down. Keep going in circles until you reach the center.
Brush a little of that marinade from the tomatoes on the crust of the pizza.
Bake the pizza for 15 minutes.
For a crispier pizza, after the 15 minutes, turn the broiler on high for 5 minutes. Keep the oven door cracked to make sure the crust doesn’t burn.
Top the pizza with some fresh basil leaves, salty slices of prosciutto, and slivers of parmesan cheese.
True or False: Those are your bite marks in the pizza.
True…I was coerced.
Did you like this pizza?
Much better than I feared it would be. A success for tomato haters and lovers alike.
There you have it folks! A tomato hater becomes a kind of tomato-liker…