Garlicky Kale and Parmesan Bruschetta

September 23, 2013

Over the weekend, Mike and I took a parenting and baby 101 class. I was happy that I kind of knew most of the stuff they were talking about. In the class, Mike and I were given custody of a little baby girl. The name on her bracelet was “Diana Hospital.” We developed a nice relationship with her. We swaddled her, bathed her, changed her poopy diaper, pretended she had a wiener for some parts, and then learned how to rectally take her temperature.

We felt confident taking care of our child for the day. Even though she was just a doll, I think she was happy with her treatment. We were gentle and caring and always tried to treat her like a real baby. We left class with a sense of accomplishment so we treated ourselves to giant cheeseburgers for dinner at Portillo’s which is conveniently located across the street from the hospital (not that that had anything to do with my choice in hospitals or anything…).

With the idea of me being a parent, no longer being Stefanie, but being mom, just a few months away, I was thinking about all the annoyingly sage advice my own mom has given me through the years. Specifically, the advice I hated at the time but probably knew deep down was pretty spot on.

For example, in high school my mom did not understand or want me dating a boy with a Mohawk. “But Maaaahhh-aaammm he is just so nice and he doesn’t understand why people are so judgmental of the way other people dress. Ugh! You just don’t understand! Nobody understands!” Yep, I was very melodramatic. Well, guess what? She was right. He was an asshole and he judged me more for the “preppy” way I dressed than I ever judged him. Double standard much?

It only took me maybe two or three years to admit to her that she was right. I still justify that relationship as a great learning experience. But, boy oh boy, has my mom not let me forget that she was right about that one.

Another example of my mom being so wise was when I was considering getting a Curly Sue style perm in high school. She told me that perms were a bit dated and, duh, permanent. Guess who went ahead and had a mild flashback to the 80’s in the 90’s? Ummm me! If I wasn’t so full of hate still over that hairstyle I would share a picture with you. Mom, you were right. Bad choice.

I feel like my mom has always given her honest advice and kind of stood back and still let us do what we were going to do to learn on our own, even to this day. I’m not saying she does this silently. Of course there is always the “I’m just sayin’” or “Oh fine go ahead. Nobody listens to me anyways.” But for the most part, she knows we will eventually admit our stupidity.

Now being pregnant, I am getting all sorts of mom opinions and advice. “Don’t eat so many sweets.” “Don’t eat too many carbs, have some vegetables.” “Cheese fries are not good for you!” And I know she is right. Kale is definitely not cheese fries, but it is soooo good for you. It can be an acquired taste, but add some garlic and a dash of heat, then slap it on some toasty bread and boom! You please your mom and still get your carb fix. Because you can’t let your mom have that full admission of, “You were right” that easily.

Garlicky Kale and Parmesan Bruschetta

Course Appetizer
Prep Time 4 minutes
Cook Time 7 minutes
Total Time 11 minutes
Servings 2 -4
Author Sarcastic Cooking

Ingredients

  • 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
  • Pinch of Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
  • 1 Garlic Clove finely diced
  • 6 Cups Roughly Chopped Kale with the Stems removed
  • Pinch of Salt and Pepper
  • 4 Slices Thick Cut Bread
  • ¼ Cup Grated Parmesan

Instructions

  1. Heat olive oil, crushed red pepper flakes, and garlic in a medium skillet over medium heat for 1-2 minutes. Make sure the garlic does not brown, if it is starting to turn golden, knock the heat back a bit.
  2. Add the kale to the hot oil. Toss to coat. Cook for about 2 minutes until wilted.
  3. Season kale with salt and pepper to taste. Remove from heat.
  4. Either toast the bread, grill the bread or broil the bread for 2 minutes until golden and crunchy.
  5. Top each slice of bread with 1/4th of the kale and then a good tablespoon of parmesan. Serve hot right away.

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  • Jessica
    June 13, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    Another yummy recipe! Loving this site. my two year old loved it too.

    • Stefanie
      June 13, 2014 at 8:15 pm

      Thank you Jessica! I’m so happy the little one liked it too!

  • Maressa Travis
    October 27, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    I saw this recipe this morning and showed it to my daughter. She went to the store, bought the kale and bread and cooked it right up. We love it. We ate every bite. My 9-year-old granddaughter absolutely loves it! Thanks very much for sharing!

  • Stephie G.
    October 7, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    This looks so good, and I really love kale. But if I even tried to serve my husband a bruschetta without tomatoes, oil and vinegar, he may just decide that a divorce is in order (j/k). Maybe I can try it for myself sometime.

  • Kayle (The Cooking Actress)
    September 26, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    Lol my mom still gives me the old “I told you so” over my ex too 😛

    I can’t believe you’re gonna be a mom, eeeeeeeeee!!!

    also-I think this bruschetta could get me into kale-this looks delicious!!!

  • Amanda @ Once Upon a Recipe
    September 23, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    It’s so exciting that you will soon be a mom! Sounds like you are ready for it!
    And this kale and parmesan bruschetta is most certainly something that my mom would not have to beg me to eat. I would do it quite willingly. Yum!

  • Susan
    September 23, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    You’re perm is kind of how I felt about getting my curls straightened in high school – pre keratin or Japanese treatments. I’m talking stinky chemical process that ruined my hair for years. Also all it did was “relax” my hair, still took my hair forever to blow-dry straight. Should have listened to mom. I should also make Braden read this because he didn’t finish his kale salad the other night. Kale is good for you yo.

  • Julie
    September 23, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Ummm…what is a “Curly Sue perm”? And, technically, a perm isn’t permanent. They do grow out. Permanent means that no matter what, the damn curls aren’t going anywhere. Not that I’m bitter or anything about curls. But I really was wondering what Curly Sue perm meant. Yum on the bread. I need more carbs, of which I’ve over-indulged in since last Thursday. If Jerry doesn’t get well soon, I’ll probably need new pants. In the meantime, I’ll use this for a good excuse for more carbs.

    • Stefanie
      September 23, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Ok so Curly Sue perm refers to the fact that I got a spiral curl perm. My hair went from below my shoulders to almost chin length because the curls were so tight. It did grow out but it took four years!

      • Julie
        September 23, 2013 at 6:12 pm

        Oh. So, basically what Stephie and I have. 🙁 Or, what I would have if my hair could grow that long. I notice you didn’t get a second one. lol I wouldn’t either if I had the choice. Mom knows best (sometimes).

      • Stephie @ Eat Your Heart Out
        September 23, 2013 at 11:11 pm

        Hahaha, in other words…Stef’s hair looked like our hair does naturally! 😉

        I’m so glad you treated your doll-child with love and care. Because I was so concerned about your impending parenting skills. Haha.

        Garlicky kale piled on bread sounds like JUST the thing to make veggies more awesome. Done.

        • Stefanie
          September 24, 2013 at 5:08 pm

          No way! You guys have what I would call pretty ringlets compared to those tight, tight, curls I willingly subjected my hair to.

  • Julia
    September 23, 2013 at 12:38 pm

    What a great idea to use kale in this recipe!! I might, might be able to get my husband to eat it if I make it this way. 🙂 But I’ll definitely eat it!

  • Maggie @Smashed Pea and Carrots
    September 23, 2013 at 9:38 am

    Oooh! I love Kale! Will definitely be trying this! And, can I tell you how excited I am for you to have your baby…yayyyyyy!

  • Sophia @ NY Foodgasm
    September 23, 2013 at 8:59 am

    This sounds delicious!!! Mmmmmm!