Slow Cooker Five Bean Beer Chili

January 18, 2017

Slow Cooker Five Bean Beer Chili | Sarcastic Cooking @meatlessmonday

Can we talk for a second? I need you to know that the only vegetables my children willingly eat are potatoes and sometimes avocado. Like, how? How did this happen? I used to be the mom touting hidden green veggies in my kids mac and cheese. Now, if one sees the green in the food, he alerts the other one and then they BOTH refuse to eat the yucky food. I am officially outnumbered and outsmarted.

Me!

A pretty knowledgeable home cook and college graduate! Outsmarted by a 1 year old and 3 year old. Maybe I can blame Mike’s hatred of vegetables for this turn of events. Maybe the genetics of the boys makes this a losing battle from the start. Yep! It is all Mike’s fault. Phew! I feel better.

Slow Cooker Five Bean Chili | Sarcastic Cooking

Wait! Wait!!! Shhhh…. Don’t say anything. Jack just picked up a black bean. He is chewing. Chewing. Now he moved on to a chick pea…

Shoot! Look away! He saw us watching!

Ugh! And now both beans are being spit out and thrown off the highchair. Well, he must have gotten a little bit of protein from the chewing process, right?

I don’t have time to do the whole puree making thing where you hide the purees in food. I barely have time to make dinner as is. At what age can you start doing the, “Take two bites” rule?

Slow Cooker Five Bean Chili | Sarcastic Cooking

A month or so ago, I tried to pull that with Andy. I told him, if you eat this one steamed carrot smothered in gravy, you can eat all bread and butter for dinner. The kid gagged. He gagged every time he tried to swallow the carrot. For a split second, I though, “Oh God, what if he is allergic?” Clearly he wasn’t. He was just so revolted by the “bunny food” that he couldn’t manage it.

Let’s go back to Mike being the problem. Here is my evidence to support this theory.

When I gave him this for dinner, he requested taco meat be added in… Um, that defeats the purpose of a healthy, vegetarian meal, Michael! Why do I even bother? Hopefully this meal will be good enough for you guys!

Slow Cooker Five Bean Beer Chili

Thick and chunky, spicy vegetarian chili.
Prep Time 7 minutes
Total Time 6 hours

Ingredients

  • 1, 6 Ounce Can Tomato Paste
  • 12 Ounces Light Beer*
  • 2 Tablespoons Chili Powder
  • Salt and Black Pepper
  • 1 Tablespoon Liquid in Canned Chipotle in Adobo you can increase or decrease based upon your own personal heat tolerance
  • 1 Teaspoon Ground Cumin
  • Dash of Cinnamon
  • 1, 15 Ounce Can Fire-Roasted Petite Diced Tomatoes
  • 1/4 Cup Diced Pickled Jalapeños
  • 1/2 Red Onion diced
  • 1, 28 Ounce Can Crushed Tomatoes
  • 1, 15 Ounce Can Black Beans drained and rinsed
  • 1, 15 Ounce Can Garbanzo Beans drained and rinsed
  • 1, 15 Ounce Can Dark Red Beans drained and rinsed
  • 1, 15 Ounce Can Pinto Beans drained and rinsed
  • 1/2 Cup Dried Green Lentils
  • 2 Tablespoons Fresh Chopped Cilantro

Instructions

  1. Add the tomato paste, beer, chili powder, cumin, salt, pepper, adobo, and cinnamon to the slow cooker. Whisk to combine.
  2. Add in all the remaining ingredients. Mix to combine.
  3. Set the slow cooker to low for 6 hours or high for 3-4 hours. Add more salt and pepper to taste.
  4. Once the lentils are tender, mix in the fresh chopped cilantro.
  5. Serve with shredded cheese, pico de gallo, hot sauce, tortilla strips, and/or sour cream.
  6. *If you can't drink or don't drink beer, you can substitute water or vegetable stock instead.

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