There are so many things about my husband that I do not understand. We have known each other for ten years (wow), we dated for seven, lived together for four years, and married for almost three years. I feel like I know him. In knowing somebody for that long, you pretty much know that they are never going to change. I mean, I can only nag so much. A lot of these issues I have with him are a lot of issues you may have with the men in your life.
So here it goes.
Things I do not understand about Mike:
- Toilet paper. He will put the new roll on top of the empty roll on the dispenser but cannot take the extra step to remove said cardboard cylinder and toss it in the trash. This is the age old Sleepless in Seattle argument. I know it will never get better, but it still annoys me.
- Toothpaste. I like to refer to this as the toothpaste standoff. We both try and squeeze every ounce of toothpaste out of the tube. I swear to God there must have been days when Mike went without toothpaste because I went to get toothpaste and there was seriously not a drop left. It isn’t hard. He could just turn around, walk two steps, and pull out the new tube. I am always the one to get the new toothpaste tube. Ugh!
- Whisper. Mike cannot whisper to save his life. I tell him to whisper while he is putting Andy to sleep and he tells me loudly that he cannot whisper. Then when he tries to whisper, he mumbles and I cannot understand a word he says. He is like Will Ferrell in the SNL skit where he cannot control the volume of his voice. Mike claims this affliction is partly due to him being a teacher and a football coach.
- Lights. He leaves every light on after he leaves the room. I don’t get it. I feel like I am my dad because we used to make fun of him and call him a vampire because he would turn every light off after us dang kids left them on.
- Cabbage (along with many other leafy green produce). Mike will not eat coleslaw. He doesn’t like it. However, he eats sauerkraut. Umm…. Sauerkraut is made of cabbage. What? Can somebody explain that to me?
Hmm… Men are baffling, aren’t they?
Well, while we all ponder what goes on in their minds, here is a great coleslaw recipe just in time for your Memorial Day celebrations.
Almond Sesame Coleslaw
Yields: About 6 Cups
- ¼ Cup Olive Oil
- 1 Teaspoon Sesame Oil
- 3 ½ Tablespoons Rice Wine Vinegar
- 1 Teaspoon Sugar
- 1 Medium Head of Cabbage, shredded
- ½ Cup Slivered Almonds
- 1 Tablespoon Sesame Seeds
- Salt and Pepper to taste
- Remove the core from a head of cabbage and shred it using a mandolin. Use the middle setting. Do not shred the cabbage too fine.
- In a large bowl, whisk together the oils, vinegar, and sugar. Add the cabbage, almonds, and sesame seeds. Mix to combine. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Let the vinegar chill in the fridge for at least an hour. It does taste best if you let it sit overnight.
- Preparation time: 12 minutes
- Total time: 12 minutes