Ok, so in case you missed the memo, Stephie and I started a weekly series following this season of The Bachelorette. We will be live tweeting, doing weekly recaps, and sharing great viewing party/couch vegging/ girls night in recipes. This week, Stephie was in charge of the cooking and made one heck of a boozy milkshake. And, stay tuned because since we love y’all (sorry I had to—friggen Andi is going to make this word a part of my regular vocab now), we will be having a huge giveaway towards the finale.
This week it is my turn to recap the lovely, commercial laden, two hour episode of the Bachelorette.
Oh boy. Where to start? The beginning, of course!
So, I feel reeeeeeeal awkward because the first one-on-one date went to the guy that died after his time on the show was over. What makes it even worse, is that this guy Eric actually seems like a really nice guy. I don’t know why they have his career as an explorer. From the sound of it he used to be a reporter/journalist. Anyway, he was super sweet. Almost too sweet. Made me think there might be some editing to make this guy seem amazing since he died and all. I mean, you wouldn’t want to show this guy being a douche after he passed away, right? That would be disrespectful. PS Sorry if that was disrespectful. This is uncharted territory. Like I said earlier, it is super awkward to watch and tweet about him.
End of the date, he gets a rose. Not a shock at all.
Next is the group date. I have to rant a little here. The guys were asked to strip. I mean, do an exotic dance for Andi. If this was the Bachelor and the girls had to do that for the dude, people would be all up in arms. A little double standard, eh ladies? Not that I don’t love seeing a little man boobage and six pack action. So the guys had to do either a group routine or a solo. Two guys were chosen to do solos. Nick S. had to dress as a sexy robot and apparently flashed a little too much of his buttockal area, if ya know what I mean. Marcus had to do the other solo dressed as a Marine. He was cute and nervous. And it was kind of nice to see a dude being a dude, not afraid of a little chest hair. Just sayin.
Later in the date, Craig, aka Mr Smiley, aka the guy who always seems like he is high (to me) gets a little too drunk. You knew that moment was coming. The producers had to take him home after he was all like “You don’t know me” and shoved a dude into the stove. As per usual, the Bachelor/Bachelorette was super concerned people weren’t taking it serious and was way overdramatic. If this show doesn’t have a general script or outline, I would be shocked.
The date went on and Marcus ended up getting the rose.
The next one-on-one date went to the little farmer, Chris. It kind of felt like an homage to Pretty Woman. Andi was all dressed up at the horse track. Chris pulled up in the limo and stepped out wearing a tee and shorts. She swept him off to pick out new clothes and get all dapper. They went on the date and it was all cute until they just happened to run into an elderly couple that told them how when you meet “the one,” you just know. I kind of feel like they were a plant set by the producers. That is just me being cynical I guess. The date ended with him getting the rose and one of those weird private concerts that the show loves to do that I absolutely hate. I mean, how weird would that be?
Right before the rose ceremony, Craig tried to do a cute little song to apologize to Andi but it didn’t really work because, well, it was pretty awful. He got the boot along with firefighter Carl and the sexy robot Nick.
Just some overall observations: Andi says y’all waaaaaay too much. Dylan and Brett need haircuts. Opera singer needs to go along with extreme spray tan body builder. Double earring bling, who was a little too into his exotic dance and JJ the “Pantsapreuner” are still here.
Next week’s preview had Andi overreacting and the guys questioning somebody’s motives for being there. You know, just the same old same old.