Mini Swiss Burgers with Crispy Shallots

Mini Swiss Burgers with Crispy Shallots | Sarcastic Cooking

My Mom always told me to never say never. For the most part, I have been pretty ok with this. Kind of.

When I was little, I once overheard a bunch of teenagers swearing like sailors. As a little kid, that kind of things sort of sends chills down your spine and scares you. So, being the virtuous little kiss ass of a kid that I was, turned to my Mom and said, “I’ll never be like that Mom.”

Now, I swear like a sailor with only a modicum of regret.

When it comes to this whole parenting thing, Mike and I often find ourselves in situations where we float out of our bodies, look down at the two tired, clueless sweatpant wearing versions of ourselves, and laugh.

Mini Swiss Burger Collage

Not even a week into having a child, Mike and I had already amassed a buttload of pictures from the hospital. No Joke. I looked through my phone the other day and saw what looked to be thirty of the same pictures of me holding Andy in the recovery room. I thought they looked exactly the same. But, I remember at the time I thought Andy was doing something different in each and every picture.

Mike said to me, word for word, “I always made fun of those parents that had a ton of pictures of their kids on their phones. Now I totally get it.” We had turned into those people we always made fun of. But, I guess if I look back, I was always a version of that person. I mean, dog pictures. I went from having a ton of Weezer pictures to having a ton of Andy pictures. Maybe Weezer was training for Andy. Don’t worry, I still take plenty of Weezie pics.

The other day, we went to go see my brother’s new house. When faced with the onslaught of another polar vortex/snow storm, we decided to pack up Andy and Weezer and just plan to stay the night instead of driving through crappy weather.

And by packing up, I mean we literally brought every single thing Andy uses from his Rock and Play and Boppy to his paci collection and his bathtub.

Yes, you read right, his bathtub.


I have become a crazy first time Mom. I have laughed at parents that do crazy things like turn off all noise and whisper while their child is napping to prevent them from waking up. Now, I have become the person that brings their child’s bathtub with them so he can bathe for five minutes because I am convinced that routine makes him sleep for 6 hours through the night.

Yep. Letting my freak flag fly for sure with that one. My brother and future sister in law definitely think I am crazy after that.

But, you know what? It worked. He slept for six hours. Maybe it was because he is getting older and can go longer between feedings oooorrrr maybe it is because of his night time bath. The world will never know. But I will always think it is due to the bath.

Another thing I never said I would do would be to make an uneven number of sliders. Sure enough, here it is.

It is like saying you’ll never do something most often is a sure fire way to guarantee you will do said thing and most likely laugh at your old self’s naivety. At least while you laugh at yourself you can enjoy a simple slider recipe.

Mini Swiss Burgers with Crispy Shallots

Yields: 7 Sliders

  • For the Burgers:
  • 1 Pound Lean Ground Beef
  • 1 Teaspoon Salt
  • ½ Teaspoon Black Pepper
  • 2 Teaspoons Worcestershire Sauce
  • 7 Whole Wheat Dinner Rolls/Slider Buns, halved
  • 4 Slices of Swiss Cheese, cut into fourths
  • For the Shallots:
  • 2 Shallots
  • ½ Cup Buttermilk
  • ½ Cup All-Purpose Flour
  • Pinch of Salt and Black Pepper
  • Canola Oil for frying
  1. Add enough canola oil to fill a medium heavy-bottomed skillet about ¼ of the way up. Heat the oil for five minutes over medium heat.
  2. Peel the shallots and then slice them into ¼-inch slices, width wise. Separate each ring of the shallot.
  3. Add the flour to a small bowl. Mix in a pinch of salt and pepper. Add buttermilk to a separate small mixing bowl. Drop the shallot rings into the buttermilk. Remove the shallots and toss them in the flour. Let the coated rings sit for a minute or two while the oil heats up.
  4. Drop all the rings into the hot oil and fry on each side for about three to five minutes until golden. Set crispy fried shallots on a paper towel to drain and cool
  5. Set the broiler to high.
  6. Form ground beef into seven small patties. Place patties on to a small baking sheet. Sprinkle the tops of each patty with salt, pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Place under the broiler for three minutes, leaving the oven door cracked open.
  7. After three minutes, remove the pan of patties. Use a spatula to remove the patties from the sheet. Wipe off excess grease from the pan. Place the buns on the pan, cut sides facing up. Place each beef patty on the bottom half of each bun. Cover each patty with two to three little slices of cheese. Place the burgers back under the broiler for a minute or two, until the cheese melts.
  8. Spread a little spicy mustard on the top half of the bun if you desire. Top the burgers with a few crispy fried shallots and then cover with bun. Serve hot on the day you make it.
  • Preparation time: 10 minutes
  • Cook time: 15 minutes
  • Total time: 25 minutes

Mini Swiss Burgers with Crispy Shallots

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  1. says

    I was just about to say make sure you don’t ignore Weeze, you know pugs know when you start ignoring them! I also thing it’s that night time bath that puts Andy to sleep. Everyone knows a warm bath relaxes you! You know what would relax me? These sliders and a plateful of those shallots.

  2. says

    I’m going to be just the same, for sure. My iPhone is probably going to explode and I need to buy one of those conversion vans to get all my crap in it. But it just means you’re being an awesome, loving mama. :) At least that’s what I’ll tell myself when I get there.

    And these sliders are making me drool/swoon in a very unattractive way (though I’m not sure there is an attractive way to do that).

  3. says

    So many things I thought and said I would never do –I now do or think!! Being a Mom is so eye opening, amazing and definitely changes your views on things you thought you knew!! Just so with it! Moms have great instincts! ;)

    On a side note..I love these little mini burgers!! Perfect for watching the game Sunday! Stay warm.

    • says

      I agree! I definitely have started to develop new mom instincts. Like who would have thought you’d be able to tell the difference between baby cries!

  4. says

    Squeee! You’re a mom and it’s so exciting! These burgers look awesome, but all I hear is my baby alarms going off being like “carrying a baby bath makes perfect sense. I should have a baby. have a baby. have a baby” *turn to boyfriend* “should we have a baby?”

    “umm.. not now”

    “oh..right”. Jeeze.. I come here to read about burgers and now I’m thinking about babies ;)

  5. says

    While I don’t have kids yet, it’s totally normal to throw everything you’ve ever said out the window, I’ve already come to the conclusion I better just not say I’d never do this or that, because I probably will!

    These sliders??? Ahhh miniature little gems.

  6. says

    These are the cutest little sliders ever!!

    So, confession: I always was convinced I wouldn’t be the crazy aunt with tons of niece/nephew pics. Based on how many pictures I took at Anna’s first birthday party on Saturday…Andy better be ready for his photo shoot when I come over later this week. Oops. (I also said I would never get tattoos or pierce my nose…oops again. Never say never is right.)

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